Search

Dear Miss Moon...


Dear Miss Moon...


I think it is really sad that we honour you only on the nights you are full, miss you only on the nights you are renewing and healing in darkness, and love you only on the nights you look that perfect crescent shape that we all love so much. I am sorry that most of us fail to see your beauty in all your other phases. Love can be so much more delicious an experience when we embrace every phase and shape of the beloved. Actually, that's probably the only way to love! Sorry, so many of us don't offer you that kind of love, sweetheart.


You know Miss Moon, the most amazing part of loving you is to see how patiently you allow yourself to grow through all your phases. Even on the new moon night when you become almost invisible, I see how bravely you venture into light all over again. I see how courageously you hold space for your growth even on nights when it feels like nothing has changed since the previous night! I see how you silently wait for yourself to feel full again, only to see yourself wane again. It must be so hard to keep going through these cycles, to keep believing in light, to keep shining, to keep waning, to keep renewing, to keep healing, to keep going away, to keep coming back, to keep being such a moon! Lol.

I do know that you don't love all those craters and seas you have. Yes, the ones we have just kept naming and renaming, like they belong to us or something! But I just hope you remember that they are actually your battle-scars from all your cosmic collisions. It's hard when you don't even know what hit you and it just leaves these permanent craters on your face. But that's how life usually is. Most of us don't really get our traumas when they happen, to be honest. It is only when our bodies and minds reveal the massive craters of pain and seas of suffering the trauma has left, we sulk. Yes, we are quiet alike in that sense. But just like you, we too shine again and more till our shine looks brighter than our scars!


Of course, there is that side of you that none of us have ever seen. And I know that a lot of us call it your 'dark side'. But is it your dark side, really? Just because the light of the Sun doesn't shine on it, just because you don't show it us, just because we don't know that side of you, are we licenced to call it dark? I don't believe that's how love works, my dear. We all have these sides to ourselves that have not much light shining on them. We all have these sides to ourselves that the world doesn't know of. We all have these sides to ourselves that we like to share only with ourselves. But darling, neither of us have any dark sides. Neither of us. Ok?

I know you are usually noticed on dark nights and that being so invisible all day must hurt. But I like how you keep just hanging in there, not trying to be strong and outshine the Sun, but simply being yourself irrespective of the attention you get. I also like how you brighten up an already bright and sunny sky every now and then, reminding us that you don't have to be useful to shine, to look beautiful and to be loved.


One question that often occurs to me is: Do you miss having another Moon for company? I mean Saturn's Moon Mr.Mimas has 61 others for company, Jupiter's Moon Miss Callisto has 78 others, and even Uranus' Moon Madam Ariel has 26 others for company! Even Mr.Phobos of Mars at least has Mr.Deimos to chill with. You are the only moon who has always been single. Is it lonely?


Or so I wonder!

But then I watch how you don't make a big deal of others' presence at all. I see how you have learnt to connect with the stars around you, even if they are not at all like you and perhaps can never get you. I know they love you too but I also see how unbelonged you may feel. You know Miss Moon, we all feel that way a lot. Life for a lot of us is pretty lonely. But it is interesting how you have built these invisible heart-connects along the night skies, enjoying your own company while chilling around these millions of bright shiny stars! I know the loneliness must still make you want to wane away on many nights. I am so proud of you for owning that pain and vulnerability, and also for not letting it dim your shine even on new moon days.

And babe, how do you not cringe that you have no light of your own? How secure in yourself are you? Is it because you know that it's not such a bad thing after all? Why can't some of us live off the borrowed shine, right? Why have we made taking help and borrowing shine such a bad thing? Why is our self-worth so deeply linked to where we get our light from? In this cold, dark and eery expanse of space, in the lonely life of simply hanging on to empty nothingness, and trying to just survive the crowded solitude we are all a part of, is it not enough that you shine anyway? You truly are a rock! Like, literally. And I love you, Miss Moon. I truly do. Hope you remember that, you looney little one!

In fact, lovers make love, poets and artists create, scientists ponder, kids wonder, plants photosynthesize, minds meditate, some break fasts, some kneel to pray, some worship, some build calendars, others visit, some people heal, many sleep, some battle, others renew - all drawn by your shine, darling. You know you control the water in the oceans and the hormones in our bodies, right? You know our mental cycles and body patterns are influenced by you all the time, right? You know that life on earth needs you, right? I know you will say that you don't care about all this stuff or that it just happens without your intention so it doesn't matter. But unintended love still serves and heals, you see.

Even if sometimes it feels like we are not really doing anything that makes a difference, even if we feel like we can disappear every once a month and most people won't notice, even if we feel like the loneliness of life doesn't make life itself worth living, we all are needed by each other, we all matter, we all are always being watched over by those who may not know how to love us as wholly as we like to be loved but care enough to watch from far and smile. We all matter. No matter how the world makes us feel, no matter how insufficient and injured we are, no matter how lonely and unbelonged life is, we can always be full again, we can always shine again, and, even if sometimes we can't do both those things, we always matter anyway!


And even if those statements may not alleviate your pain or reduce your suffering, you need to be honoured, acknowledged and appreciated much more than we usually do, because being loved and valued does make loving ourselves easier. And are we all not here to help each other do just that?


I know that you love your personal space a lot and don't like what that next phrase literally means, but I just want you to know today that I do love you to the moon, and beyond,


N


© 2020 by Nidhi Chaitanya